Monday, November 17, 2008
Who needs EHarmony?
I thought some of you might find this article amusing. It's about a man who met and married one woman, then shtupped and spooned other(s?) online. He married the first woman first online then in 'real life' but she has recently announced he plans to divorce him. Why? Because the wife was upset about his Second Life avatar's "unreasonable behavior.' First it was cyber sex with a Second Life woman, then an emotional (and cuddly) affair with a virtual pal.
The wife was incredibly upset by his actions. The Times article quotes the real-life wife as saying: "It may have started online, but it existed entirely in the real world and it hurts just as much. His was the ultimate betrayal. He had been lying to me." She divorced her husband online, but elected to stay married to him in real life. However, she did not entirely trust or forgive him. After the prostitute incident, the wife hired a Second Life private investigator to monitor her husband's actions- which may be how she found out about the later couch cuddling.
But, the plot thickens. The husband claims his WWW infidelities sprang from his wife's addiction to the online role-playing game World of Warcraft. He also insists that the second offense meant nothing- "We weren't even having cyber-sex or anything like that," he said. "We were just chatting and hanging out together."
Fortunately, online romances have a tendency to prevail. The husband is now engaged to her online spooning partner (though I don't know if they're engaged online, in real life, or both) and the wife is now dating a man she met playing her beloved game World of Warcraft.
All these cyber soap opera antics just make met think, "Seriously?" I thought high school was needlessly dramatic and painful. I cannot imagine why anyone would pursue a lifestyle, online or otherwise, that would perpetuate this pain. What possible benefit can there be? I'd rather just collect cats, old newspapers, and bitterness in the 'real world.'
Quick sidebar: These articles refer to Second Life and WoW as being three-dimensional. But I don't agree. Sure, these little avatars have shadows, but they are housed within a flat screen. Optical illusions don't invent axises, do they?
Another version of the same story: "Virtual affair leads to real divorce for UK couple"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This is amazing! I would love to know when these virtual programs were created. Technology has come a long way. I read your post to my blog and it is interesting that we both blogged about the effect of cyberspace on real life. I am saddened by this unlucky encounter. I think I am actually kind of angry. Do people have nothing else better to do? Are they dissatisfied with reality? You are correct, they are betrayed in a world of optical illusion. A world that can disappear at the click of a button. As far as the article about the couple, I think this relationship was doomed from the beginning. The individuals met through cyberspace which is a false reality. They get married online and in real life which leads to a tumultuous ending. The cycle seems to repeat itself. The woman seems really upset about her husbands "infidelity" but she as well as him fell in love with a fictional person. They both were able to conjure up characters that may have been misleading. Her husband may have been a stud in cyberspace, she may have been the woman of his dreams but reality hit them on the ring finger. They realized or shall I say her husband realized that he was not satisfied with reality. I guess he needed something spicy. Overall, this is weird but quite normal in cyberspace.
ReplyDeleteWow! Some people have a lot of time on their hands. I can barely keep up with my first, "real", life let alone conduct a second life complete with affairs, private investigators and virtual divorces.
ReplyDeleteI think stories like these turn people off to digital technology. I am sure there are good and valid reasons for Second Life; just because I can't think of any doesn't mean they don't exist. However, I wonder how much of this actually prevents or provides an excuse for people not living a meaningful first life.
I understand that role playing, game playing, even blogging, facebook and email provide an important supplement to our lives. They provide entertainment, connect us with others, teach us new things. However, without real human contact and connection they begin to loose their value.
I have a hard time imagining mature adults acting the way the people in the article did and I think you hit the nail on the head when you equated their behavior with high school. I have to wonder how much their involvement or over-involvment with these technologies contributed to their remaining in this adolescent state.
This is not to say that non-tech savvy people are more mature. However, these technologies if overused and not balance with actual relationships and experiences can be like any debilitating force (poverty, lack of education, discrimination) in stunting human growth.
I hope this doesn't sound too dramatic or preachy but I do think that these are important things for us, as future educators, to think about. Just because something can be done with technology doesn't mean that that is always the appropriate way to do it.
It is fascinating to me that so many of our class' recent posts deal with the effect of technology on "real life", which just goes to show that even though it is happening in the virtual dimension, that the effects of cyberspace can carry over in major ways to what we call "real life". That was a very roundabout way of saying that cyberspace is part of real life even though it is a separate dimension. If you think about it in those terms, for years people have been writing cartoons, articles, books, etc. and those who are the victims or subjects of these media are often times very hurt by the writing. Same thing with photographs in the tabloids in the grocery stores - even though those are not technically "real life" and usually only represent an iota (if even) of the truth, they can often times be very harmful. Just another reason why it is so vital to teach our students that 1) ethics apply to the internet just as much as they do to "real life" and 2) what you put online is not hidden even though it may feel personal. I don't know if this event is because of the internet - or if the internet was just the medium through which these people acted. If they had never gotten involved online would they have had scandalous/disastrous endings to their relationships with other people? Or did they do what they did because it seemed as though there was a buffer of safety with the internet? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The internet or the ridiculous behavior?
ReplyDeleteGreat article!
This is truly bizarre. I understand that online gamin is fun, or whatever. That it provides a certain amount of escape. But honestly, when your life starts to bleed into a false reality it's time to reexamine and probably back away from the computer. What intrigues me the most is that the man in the relationship said his infidelities started because she was hooked on internet gaming. Hello?! YOU MET YOUR WIFE IN AN INTERNET GAME! That's like marrying a brunette and then divorcing them later because they are still brunette.
ReplyDeleteWhat's worse is that while it appears neither of these people were emotionally ready for a real-life relationship, they are both at it again. Perhaps I'm just cynical, but it seems to me that if you met spouse #1 one way, you might try a different approach for #2... Here's to seeing this article's second part in 2 years.